Conversations with a Vegan... milk...breast is best...but not inter-species...

I'm writing up real life 'Conversations with a Vegan'  to open up discussion on how best to talk about what it means to be vegan.
I'm doing this because I find there is a lot of misleading stereotyping and mis-information out there about veganism that is causing people to perceive it in a very negative way.
I know the positive aspects of it, and why I feel compelled to follow this way of life, and I just want to make sure that I'm explaining it in the best possible way that I can to non vegans. I want to educate, inform and break down those cultural barriers.

To those who have gone through all of this before me: I welcome your advice and input on how I might improve what I say.

To those, who like me, are just starting out on this wonderful new life: then perhaps we can learn together?

As always, please don't hesitate to contact me with any thoughts or questions.

Ch xx

Place: Thelcross Inn (traditional pub), Mid Devon - farming territory

Time: Lunch

Person: Bar staff / Waitresses

Situation: Looking at the specials board to see if there was anything suitable that Dave and I could eat for lunch - unusually the board had 4 meat options and 4 veggie options, one of which was 'vegetable tempura with sweet chilli sauce, salad and chips'.

first lady

second lady

me!

Hello - please could you tell me if the vegetable tempura is homemade and whether the batter is actually a tempura one or if it's a batter that contains milk and possibly eggs?

OK no problem I'll go and check with the chef.

Actually please could you also check what's in the risotto as well, as we don't eat any animal products at all - so no cream or cheese etc.

I think it has cheese but I'll check for you.

[first lady went off to the kitchens, second lady came over and started talking to me]

So don't you eat any animal products at all?

No - none, we're vegan

What, not even milk?

No - not milk. Milk is meant for calves - not humans.

But it's... mmm... [long pause] do you have children?

No.

Well, if you did, would you feed them your breast milk then?

Yes - because human breast milk is meant for human babies! [possible shock in my voice!] It's just that cows milk is meant for calves, not humans.

Oh - but... what about Holstein cows - they have too much milk for their calves so it's OK for us to drink the rest.

Well they have too much milk because we've bred them that way - but cows milk is the milk of another species - and when you think about it - we're not meant to drink that. It's not designed for humans.

I know that we're all brought up drinking milk - I was just as much as you. And I understand you live right in the middle of a farming community so it's the common view. But when I really started researching into it and then thinking about it I found that it's not as healthy as we've been told - I mean we hear all the time now to reduce our dairy intake don't we? But apart from that I just don't want to drink the milk of another species. And actually we don't need to - their are so many alternatives.

Mmm... yeah I never heard of that though.

It's quite unusual I know, but more and more people are starting to realise that it isn't perhaps good for us [and certainly not for the animals]. 
It's great that you guys here have considered vegetarian options for your menu. Humans are eating too much meat really too so it's really great that you have other options and I'll make sure I let people know that you do.

Thanks, Mmm no milk eh? [still looking incredulous at this revelation]... doesn't this whole thing make it difficult for you to eat though?

Well yes it can be challenging eating out sometimes - but look, perhaps without realising it, you have a vegan dish on your menu right there and it looks lovely! A lot of people want to help. Of course it's easy for me to eat and cook at home because there are so many great ingredients I can cook with - it's not limiting at all - quite the opposite.

Hmmm [went away pensive and carried on with her work]...

[other lady came back to confirm the tempura was suitable for vegans - but the risotto wasn't as it had parmesan in it - a whole conversation about parmesan not being veggie then ensued - which she took very well and she went back to the chef again to discuss it!]

This is a conversation that I could end up having a thousand times living in Devon and something I wish I had added I have highlighted in red - getting facts / concerns across about how we farm animals too would have been good.
But guaging the person I was talking to and the community I was in - it may not have been that easy to talk about that. Maybe next time I will have more courage and find the right words?

What was interesting was to see the reaction of someone to the suggestion that humans shouldn't be drinking the breast milk of another species. It's a simple, yet thought-provoking comment. It certainly was for me.
I related the fact that I was brought up drinking milk and thinking of it in the way she was,  so that I could show change is possible. I hope my experiences help others to question what they are commonly told as part of our cultural 'norm'. 

Chantal xx



If the comment box is not visible below please click on the title of this post and it will open up for you to comment. I welcome any and all constructive feedback and thoughts.   

@vegsoup4thesoul I think you handled the conversation really well. You planted a seed. You weren't rude. You were informative. Good on you!
— Ally (@madeofstars1) August 24, 2013

 

@madeofstars1 @vegsoup4thesoul You did very well.
— Vanilla Rose (@MsVanillaRose) August 24, 2013

@vegsoup4thesoul no it's hard really hard, cos milk is everywhere & peeps don't get it! :)
— JaneyL (@knittybunbun) August 23, 2013